Summer, 1998

It had only been a week after graduation from UT and Trish was missing her friends.  She couldn’t believe school was over; it seemed like it would never end.  So many all-nighters spent studying, tweaking on Mexican diet pills to get through exams and almost as many weekends wasted at the Agave Room, pounding all-you-can-drink kamikazes.  In the end, she had earned her degree, made a ton of good memories with her friends Emma and Naomi and had all the time in the world to think about them while she tried to find work.

The phone rang.  Trish answered.  “Hello?”

“What’s up, girlfriend.  It’s Emma.”

“Hey!  I was just thinking about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Emma said, curious.

”Yeah.  You want to go grab some lunch?”

“Sure.  Have you talked to Naomi?”

“No, I was gonna call her next.” Trish said.

“Have you met her new boyfriend?”

“No; is he hot?”

“Not as hot as Kenny was but he’s alright.” Emma said.  “Where do you want to go?”

“There’s this new Mexican restaurant in the University area I have been really wanting to try.” Trish replied.

“Ugh.  Not Mexican again.”

“Why not?  We live in Texas, what do you expect?  We need to thank our lucky stars, Emma.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Come on.  I’ll buy.  Just go to Lucy’s on 29th St.”

“You are so full of it!” Emma laughed; Lucy’s was their home away from class for four years.  “Why do we have to go there again?  Let’s go someplace different.”

“Come on, Emma.  We go there all the time, it’s our place!  How can you not want to go?”

There was a little pause.  “Alright, I guess, if it’s what you want.  What time?” Emma relented.

“How about twenty minutes.  I’ll call Naomi and we’ll meet up.”

“Sounds good.  I’ll see you soon.”

They hung up.  Trish immediately dialed Naomi to pass along the plans.  She got her machine twice.  On the third try, Naomi answered.  “Hello?  Who is it?”

“It’s Trish.  What the hell?”

“Oh, sorry.  I was uh, busy.”  Trish heard someone laughing on Naomi’s end.

“Is what’s his name over there?”

“Don’t call him that.” Naomi said, sounding hurt.

“Oh, come on; I didn’t mean anything by that.  I haven’t even met him yet.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to be mean about it.”

“Sorry, sister.  Hey. What are you doing this afternoon in, like, twenty minutes?”

“I dunno, why?” Naomi asked.

“I just got off the phone with Emma.  Meet us at Lucy’s at three.”

“Jesus, Lucy’s again?”

“What’s wrong with Lucy’s?”

”We are constantly there.  We’ve had everything a million-billion times.” Naomi complained.

“So what?  Come on.  It’s not like it’s gonna kill you.” Trish said.  She heard some of Naomi’s conversation with her boyfriend.  “Bring what’s his name.  My treat.  Come on, Emma’s on her way.”

“I just don’t see why we have to go there when there’s so many other places to go have margaritas.  Isn’t tonight dollar rita night at Freddie’s?”

“Freddie’s doesn’t have the salsa I like.  Come on, Nomes.  Just come on.”

“Alright, fine.  We’ll see you at three.” Naomi said.

“Cool.  Who’s gonna be there?”

“His name is Shane.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Trish was in a fantastic mood.  It didn’t matter that it was their weekly trip to Lucy’s, it was sangria swirl margaritas on the deck with chips and salsa in the summertime.  That’s what made life so good in hundred-degree heat.  She put some cool cotton on, grabbed her keys and went for the car.  She happened to be lucky enough to get the good parking spot at her complex, under the biggest tree, to help provide some relief to the heat in her car.  The air conditioner had died a month before graduation and she didn’t have the money to fix it; she was getting ready for the Big Sweat.

On her way to the restaurant, Trish checked her wallet.  She groaned at the idea of having to stop at the ATM to get cash but putting it on her credit card was out of the question.  She stopped at the 7-11 at Keaton and Burnell and stood in the longest line she’d ever seen at an ATM before.  There was an elderly woman taking her sweet time, one of the huddled masses was behind her and a frat-looking boy behind him, talking at high volume on a mobile phone, switching his weight from foot to foot.  Trish kept her judgment inside; it seemed like every person she saw talking on a mobile phone would talk so loud to get attention, as if having one of the things said something positive about their personality or worth as a human being.  She eavesdropped and was bored by his conversation.  She had toyed with the idea of getting a mobile phone but they didn’t even seem worth it; her sister had one and bragged that she was getting two hundred minutes for only fifty dollars.  It seemed ridiculous.  While Trish’s mind wandered, another elderly lady had joined the first one in line; she didn’t have the time to stand there while two old bats figured out what the buttons did.  She knew she’d find another machine somewhere else.  She got in her car, left the parking lot and tore off toward the Mobil at the end of Burnell.  She got her cash and went on her way.

There was a lot of traffic on Guadalupe, much more than usual for a Wednesday afternoon with no classes in session.  Trish looked at the clock on her dash – it was almost three.  She felt bad being the one who organized their little get-together and she was the one running late.  At that moment, she wished she had a cellular phone to call the restaurant and let her friends know she was going to be late.  She sat in traffic for a little while and then decided to take neighborhood streets through Hynden Park to get to Lucy’s.  It seemed every street she turned down there were people sitting in their cars who’d had the same idea she did and were now stuck.  Fifteen minutes passed; her car was getting hot.  She ditched one short cut, took the long way around through the University and tried to come out on the other side of the street Lucy’s was on; it took her another ten minutes to get there.  When she did, she saw police cars, media vans and two SWAT trucks.  Trish eventually found a place to park and ran up as close as she could.  She glanced around and her eyes landed on Emma's truck.  She wanted to get a closer look but police were everywhere, corralling onlookers.  She managed to move as calmly as she could across the street to the dirt lot that handled Lucy’s overflow parking and found herself standing next to Naomi’s car.  An ice-cold shiver went through Trish’s veins and her stomach knotted up.  Before she knew it, machine gun fire ripped through the air.  People all around hit the dirt.  People were screaming and running around; cops had their guns trained to the front door of the restaurant.  Trish scooted under Naomi’s car and stayed there, watching black-booted feet run and shuffle around.  She watched EMTs remove body after body on stretchers from her favorite place to drink tequila.  She counted each body as it came out.  Fourteen.

When the frenzy died down, Trish crawled out from under Naomi’s car and sat next to it; she was in full view of both the exits at Lucy’s.  Emma, Naomi and Shane never returned to their cars.



Summer, 2008

“Trish, are you here?” Nick called from the front door.

“I’m on the patio, babe.” She said.  

Nick went to the back door leading to their little space outside.  Trish had her feet up and was painting her toenails.  “How was work?”

“About the same.  One of our engineers isn’t going to be in tomorrow so there might not be anything for me to do since I’m caught up on those plans for the VOX II complex.” He said.  “That means... I’m going to be free all,”  He leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips, “day,” another peck, “Friday.”  Trish grinned.  “You want to do something tonight?”

“Sure.”

“What do you want to do?” Nick asked.

“Let’s go out to eat.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

Trish closed her nail polish and admired her toes.  “You know what we haven’t had in a long time?  Barbecue.”

“That does sound good.  Where do you want to go?”

She didn’t know why he asked her that question; she was never able to give him an answer.  “Well... hm.  I can think of a few places but... I mean... you know how I am about things like this, babe.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.  And it’s okay.  How about you tell me some of the places you want to go and we can decide from there.” Nick offered.  “Give me the short list.  Top three barbecue places you want to go within fifty miles of town.”

Trish laughed.  “I know what that means.”

“I would hope so.”

“Alright.  Yes, Kreutz Market is one, Sam’s Barbecue is two and Iron Works is my third pick.” She said.  “So how do we decide?  You know how I am about this.”

“Well, gas is $3.76 right now, so even though Kreutz is our favorite, it’s thirty miles away.  We’re closer to Sam’s than Iron Works, but we can take a better short-cut to Sam’s than we can to Iron Works.” Nick said.

“But we can sit down at Iron Works.”

“Sam’s has better prices for what you get.  And they have better sausage.”  The pros and cons were out there.  Trish didn’t know why he had to make her choose.  He knew she never could.  “Come on, babe, you can do it.  Just pick one.”

Trish sighed.  “Nick, you know I can’t.”

“I know, and it’s okay.  But do you want to try?  Which one sounds best to you, no matter how much it costs or how far away it is.  Let’s start with that.”  Trish loved him for his patience.  It was one of the main reasons she married him.  Her inability to decide something as easy as where to go for dinner wasn’t a big deal to him.  She considered the options again and after a few minutes, she just shook her head.  All she could do was remember being face down in the dirt and rocks under a car while her best friends were gunned down.  She shook her head.  “Okay.  We’ll go to Iron Works.”

During dinner, they discussed vacation plans.  Nick suggested climates, glitz, spa retreats, eating and drinking walking tours and everything in between but there was no way Trish could decide where to go.  She didn’t feel like she deserved to choose to go anywhere outside the house, no matter the cost, time or convenience.  Her guilt was still strong, even a decade later.  She couldn’t decide on where to go have dinner in her hometown, let alone decide between a weekend in Barcelona or Las Vegas.  All that came back was her own desires and how they got her friends killed.

“We’ve never been to Vegas.  Everyone says it’s someplace you’ve got to see at least once in your life.” Nick said.

Trish picked up her Lone Star.  “Fine.  If that’s where you want to go, we’ll go.”  She took a drink, her eyes locked with his.  She wished Nick could read her mind; she wanted him to stop asking her to choose places to go.  She hadn’t made a decision in ten years, he knew she was the way she was when he met her.  His psychology elective in school would seem to come to the surface during certain discussions and she was tired of it.  The worst of it was not thinking anyone else would understand.

“But I want you to help me decide what to do when we get to wherever we’re going.  This should be our decision.  Don't you want to go to Vegas?"

"I don't... well... "  Trish sighed hard.  "Nick, I can't..."

“Well, I’m trying to help you get over this problem you have.”

She could feel herself getting annoyed but he couldn’t help it; he was a man and men fix things.  If he didn’t care, they wouldn’t have been together for the last eight years.  “I know.”

“But can I ask you again?  How does Paris sound?”

“Paris sounds nice.” Trish said, nodding.  “I’ll think about it.”  How hollow, she thought, not meaning a word.  “Well, maybe not Paris.  I was supposed to go my freshman year but it didn’t work out.”

“Okay, we’ll go to Paris.”

“No; I had my time and it’s gone.  I mean, on the other hand, Vegas is closer...”

“Trish, just pick one.” Nick said, quickly.

“I’m sorry, Nicky.  You know how I am.”

He rubbed her hand.  She finished her beer.

In bed that night, Nick fell asleep first.  Trish stayed up, watching the local news.  She was still a little bummed about dinner, but he was still there, by her side, snoring lightly.  It didn’t matter where she went on vacation with him:  Paris, Vegas, Newark, that wasn’t the problem.  She felt tears start to sparkle in her eyes.  He seemed to get everything about her but wasn’t able to get past this particular issue.  As thirty-something women went, he was getting off light.

“In other local news, Austin Fire Department responded to a two-alarm fire at the Lucy’s Southern Star in the UT area early this morning.  The fire is reported to have started due to faulty wiring.  You might remember in 1998 a gunman opened fire on people having lunch; twenty people were injured, fourteen of them fatally.  The gunman, David Lee Marvin, is serving a life sentence at Huntsville State Prison.” Said the newscaster.

Trish nudged Nick on his arm.  “Nick.  Nick.”  She whispered.

“Yeah, hon.”  He said, half-asleep.

“Let’s go to Vegas.”

“Alright, hon.”

She hoped he would acknowledge her breakthrough in the morning.