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Literature by jedl93

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DD DLD Lit by Blacksand459


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Submitted on
July 3, 2014
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Day 3
1000 words
unedited for the haters

this was the first time trying a combination of fantasy/Young Adult.  don't hurt me, i'm new at this

update DD 8-9-14
It's a complete shock that an unedited story in a genre I've never written before got a Daily.  I'm speechless.  I am quite fond of this story, I think it's one of the "cutest" pieces I've written.  I want to dedicate it to those who fear and avoid writing outside what they know.  It can work if you make it work.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2014-08-09
Suggester's words:  raspil takes a departure from her normal fare with My First Pet, the short story of a Godlet trying to claim his first planet.

Deviant also suggested by Naktarra.
( Suggested by demonlight and Featured by neurotype )
:iconindijaz:
INDIJAZ Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014
reminds me of an another version of "GOD" growing up alternative version of "Earth"?
Co-creators and harmonizers of life in the universe the description could be more detailed 
like explaining more about the environment the Godlet is inhabiting.
so on so forth
Keep it up and thanks for showing the haters i feel what you say.
Brill story keep it up and carry on with the exploring into different tangets of interest:+)
Reply
:iconsolokeh-krontos:
Solokeh-Krontos Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Interesting family social dynamics within a culture of gods, I like it.
Reply
:iconevertoseer:
Evertoseer Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is different from anything I've read in a while. It's quite refreshing really. I enjoyed this :-)
Reply
:iconarynchris:
ArynChris Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
It's adorable. *chuckles*
Reply
:iconkreepingspawn:
KreepingSpawn Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD!  :dummy:
Reply
:iconloserlibs:
LoserLibs Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Adorable Girl Anime Emoji (Heart Dance) [V6]  omg this is adorable, and not to mention unique. Good job :D and congrats on the DD!
Reply
:icondenisecroy:
DeniseCroy Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my God. I never expected that sort of story from you. Which is totally a good thing. I really love the idea. Congrats ! 

It's probably what you intended, but it sounds like the diary of a teenager. 
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
Congratulations! This is cute, clever and a very enjoyable story. :nod:
- Michael
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:iconsrsmith:
SRSmith Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014   Writer
Congratulations on the DD, it made me very happy to see your work out front and center where it belongs. This is clever, subtle, and warm. I'm not going to say it's not what I would expect from you, as I never know what to expect from you, but you keep proving that you can write pretty much anything you like extremely well! 
Reply
:iconcharlatte4611:
Charlatte4611 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
inspirational!
Reply
:iconphantomtigers:
Phantomtigers Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
awww this is really cute and original :D
Reply
:iconsexytickletorture:
Sexytickletorture Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
Very original and funny; good job on the DD!
Reply
:iconaboveavvarage:
aboveavvarage Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
i was almost expecting him to say earth... but kayos makes much more sense for someone who's still in their "name everything after yourself because it's yours" stage. either way, adorable work! i'd never seen this perspective on deities before, and i really liked it. c:
Reply
:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer

Congratulations on the DD! :hug:
Very charming :aww:

Reply
:iconjamester56:
jamester56 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
Aw! How cute!
Reply
:iconheartofthestorm:
HeartOfTheStorm Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014   General Artist
Very nice, this was a pleasure to read! ^^
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014   General Artist
I love the ending
Reply
:iconsurrealcachinnation:
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014   Writer
Oh hey, I've read this one!  Congrats on another DD.  :D
Reply
:icondragondud:
Dragondud Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
:iconcreepyspongebobplz:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Student Writer
This is a super interesting concept!
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I want a big planet.
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014   Writer
only if you promise to sweep out your side of the galaxy first. 
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
but moooooooooooooom I dun wanna
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014   Writer
A perfect name for a planet (that sounds like this one) and will see plenty of "Kayos" in its 'life-time.'
You've got the attitudes down like you lived with teens for the past nine years or more...lol. boring -- unfair -- mine -- I could do this.
I wuv :lol: this story. :heart:
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014   Writer
thank you -- i was a little worried about this one but it's too cute and i think folks have liked it pretty well.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014   Writer
You're welcome, and I think you're right.
Reply
:iconapocathary:
apocathary Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"Kayos", so perfect for a teenager. ;P Nice one mate, I think this can go longer for sure (:
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
thank you :bow:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I vaguely recall you tried YA voice (but not fantasy) once before? Anyway, this came out totally solid. And the ending - did you mean it to sound like Chaos? I dig. 

"They’re so boring when they fight." - favorite line...and the fact that Dad's name is Donny is, for some reason, fucking hilarious.

"
Dad says I’m not ready." - not sure this should be in past tense instead.
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
if i tried YA before it was years ago and a failure.

yeah, a planet called Chaos, kind of a play on Kayus' name, seeing as the prompt was about the Earth is the only planet not named after a God.  foreshadowing?  who knows.  odds are.

thanks for checking it out, boo :heart:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, ok.

Yeah, I don't know what's up with that. I think the Greeks may have actually called it Gaia? But I'm not totally sure, and the root word for 'from the earth' is completely different so what's up with that.

Sure thing.
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
yeah, I came across Gaia in my research.  Still not Jupiter or Neptune.  The way I figure, for butthurt Pluto, that planet was still named after a God even though its status was taken away... always chase that silver lining.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, plus she's a Titan and whatnot. Haha, fuck Pluto.
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
HA!  i love u
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
love u too

seriously though, fuck Pluto. it pissed me off as a child.
Reply
:iconkreepingspawn:
KreepingSpawn Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
:devilish:  Excellent!
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconetchedindreams:
EtchedinDreams Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Student Writer
Oh, this is too cute. A tiny pet planet... That's probably WAY more interesting than a cat. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Writer
Probably about as much trouble..
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Cool concept!
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014   Writer
thank you :-)
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my goodness, this is *adorable*.
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014   Writer
glad you think so :hug:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:
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:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well this was different, coming from you! I greatly enjoyed it though, vocabulary-wise and dialogue-wise it has a great flow, everything is very clear. And, of course, it makes you want to read on. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014   Writer
thank you, i appreciate your thoughts.
Reply
:icondemonlight:
demonlight Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Professional Writer
Dad was right.  I just wanted it because of reasons.  - eh?

He disappeared for a time and returned with something that almost disappeared in the palm of his hand.  It was the planet!

Repetition of disappeared.

I really rather like this. It's quite touching and very unlike your usual writing. It's always good to stretch (although most of us don't try to stretch across a galaxy).

I'd like a planet to follow me home!
Reply
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